Champion's Stand

I walk through shadow, mist and bog
My heart alert, sight impaired by fog
Distant noises and shifting sounds about me as I hide
Powerful the invisible eyes, who's gaze pulls at every stride

They grapple for my feet and impede my start
Attempting to disrupt the beat from my weary heart
I recon their plan, this evil conspire
To drench me with fear and stifle my fire

To this I say no, to this I resist
I stand surefooted to embrace the duelist
Extended from hand, thy Sword of Truth does rise
To parry the death released from the enemy of lies

Truth stands where darkness cannot
Through steps of faith, I have the courage I sought
I stand against the scheme, regardless of toll
To remove the king from the throne seat of my soul

Fear's fight

Life untamed, wild and crass
Ever daunting some wish it would pass
Giants rise to stand in your way
They're hidden thought to destroy your day

Fear hides in darkness, shifting in boundless plight
All powerful, overwhelming and just too much
It grips your soul and holds you tight
Never intended for you as such

Fear is a thief, who slashes against your hope
It's momentum has you swaying upon the sea
It sends your heart crashing, too much to cope
Robbing and stealing, it wants all of the

Even Peter lost sight and was submerged
His eyes wavered and he chose wrong
Through darkness a grip plunged through, hands merged
Lifted him soaked, to sing a new song

The compassion of Christ will never fail
He breaks through to refresh even though you are stale
He does so for his glory so that you may hail
"God delivered me from my fear and made me prevail"

Adorn's return

Trust in my grip, even more so in my hold
Trust in my word spoken and told
Stand up and speak with all that is bold

Call to the strangers large and small
Explain to all them about man's fall
As well as of grace extended to all

See their hearts through their own eyes
Chained by a life filled with lies
I Am the answer to all their whys

Stand up and lead all men my way
For time is short, the ending of the day
The blind and deaf will need you to pray

Sound of the trump, blare of the horn
The time of mending for all that are torn
For I Am returning for all my adorn

Heaven's Garden

A field of flowers, far as the eye can see
All white and swaying freely
A closer look will reveal
Them to be the faces of child spirits

Too numerous to count, too many to view
All tender and all precious as a ewe
Gentle steps work their way through the scape
Behind them flowing a glorious billowing cape

With arms stretched low and fingers extended
They touch each face with the grace he intended
With each step the soil is stirred anew
Panning back reveals a glorious view

See, this is God's garden grand and great
He's walking amongst his children with an ever slow gait
Inhaling the aroma of this children's praise
Caring for each bloom in specific ways

The Lord of Host tills the soil of his great lot
With his great glory his one thought
Amazing grace and never ending love
As the Father cares for his garden below from above

Fear Not

Fear not, Fear not, again the Lord says, Fear not

For you are the sowers of the seen of hope
For you are the standers in the gap
For you are the comforters of those who can't cope
For you are the lifter's of men where they're at

Don't give up, Don't give up, again the Lord says, Don't give up

Souls await your beautiful heart
To reach out in love and bring together what's apart
Dry broken hearts await a drink
Of living water that lifts them from the brink
The need is great, the need is many
Your are my children and possess what is meant of all and any
So go my children and be not alarmed
For I stand above you and will never lower my arms

Fear not, Fear not, again the Lord says, Fear not

A Whisper

A gentle breeze
A whisper
The rustle of leaves
A whisper
Rolling thunder, a clap in the sky
A whisper
A cricket's chirp
A whisper
An ocean's wave
A whisper
Your loving voice, a gift of life a fresh
A whisper

I hear you
Whispering - "I love you"
I see you
Whispering - "I love you"
I feel you
Loving me
Show me Lord, how to do these things
So that you know how much
I love you
Even with
...a whisper

Freedom faith

How can I ever thank Him for such a gift
For a sacrifice which eliminated my rift
All I needed was to believe
So he showed me he would never leave

A gift beyond him glorious sacrifice
And not just a full life will suffice
But a gift so simple, yet impossible to explain
A life unexpected and not void of pain

It is the gift of belief

One without doubt
One that bring all darkness out
One that gives me a spirit of thanksgiving
One that make me desire to keep living

...For Him

He made faith that way
Where just a small portion keeps hell a bay
As faith is but just a mustard seed
It also contains everything I will ever need

For nothing is impossible when he is with me
And my growth continues despite being on bended knee
But like with all seed, we must grow
And that takes the faith to get up and go

The Spirit leads my on paths my feet could not traverse
But with every step I would break another curse
My faith beget my walk, my walk is setting me free
How can I ever thank Him for giving this gift to me

Greatful expression

How does one thank the Creator of all
Who's love outraced everything and steadied my fall
How can thank you ever be enough
When his love easily penetrated my bluff
Is there anything that comes close to being appropriate
No matter where I ended up, that is where he was at
My mire, my strife, my pain in my life
All gone, all lifted, purified and gifted
Whenever I reached out and asked for help
He had already reacted many steps ahead of myself
Only a life spent in need can show how much he is there
With his never ending compassion making us aware
My thoughts are always anticipated
All of my steps he abated
There is none that compares
There is only one who ever dares
For God himself, looked down from the cross
And remembered all who were and are lost
Thought of me and all that I would need
With great joy opened his arms and allowed himself to bleed
As His precious blood struck the ground
With earth and the heavenly hosts rejoicing abound
He made love complete
And the path for all to one day meet

A heart's shadow

Let my life be a cast of shadow
Not one of old which is dark and hollow
But of light; new and hallow
Bringing light and strength to those in need
Breaking down all barriers that may impeed
Make me a reflection of my king
With a love in my heart for all to sing
Who's light covers all darkness of hell
Who's home forever my heart shall dwell
Stand me up and lift me high
Place in front to catch all man's eye

I am finally a broken vessel

For you to use without my hassel
You've compelled me to change my ways
It's you who's blessed what I say
So lift me up and lead the today
For I will follow
And lead man your way

Misplaced heart

A confession in necessary to explain my path
An account of a secret that almost lost my grasp
In raising a tree and hanging a sock
Grew understanding of a story I once mocked

See, St. Nick for me is not a symbol of freedom
But a diversion of the making of faith in my weed om
For the love expressed toward on said to be joy
Eventually crushed the heart and belief of a boy

As age passed and days mounted
This false story distracted from truth that counted
A child's faith misplaced on a lie
Blinded the true vision's path to my eye

What I see is a calculated and subtle twist
That promotes a faith in something more invisible than mist
See Santa is the first being we're taught to have faith in
Instead of a savior who's waiting for our love and wondering when

Is it any coincidence that he's covered in red
A clear disrespect of Christ's blood shed
That we lay gifts before a thing of the earth
Instead of that which is eternal with incense and mirth

Rise up and cry aloud
And give praise to our king of the billowing cloud
He alone is worth all of our praise
He alone is capable of making you amaze.

He provided, he sustains, he protects, he adores, he maintains
The true gift, the gift of love .... a love that ordains.

Savior Revealed - Poem

Morning time to ponder truth
Reflect upon thy waster youth

Troubled times with no great fear
Chances passed year by year

Yearned to see thy great ascend
Produced a heart that needs much mend

Youthful days passed into night
Mature life's ways began its plight

Life's weight began to take its toll
Exposed thy heart which wasn't whole

Absence of thy love's divine
Brought light above to thy world's entwine

Tangled by my choices web
Hope's great light began to ebb

As the sun breaks through on a brand new day
Thy Word of God began to light the way

Path unseen in past time
A path revealed described as mine

Foot's first step revealed much more
But a silhouette of love's adore

With hand extended warm and true
"This path to Me, I made for you"

With heart contrite, full of regret
My hand extended, my heart He met

At first I cannot express my heart's feel
Til His gentle spirit began to reveal

"You are mine and I am yours"
Began to unlock and open doors

As I walked with life's Great Lamb
He described to me just who I am

"You are my brother, my son, my child"
"I will soon call you home in a while"

"So don't fret on things of past"
"My blood has washed them away in mass"

"Join me and serve my children's needs"
"And I'll crown thee upon thy bended knees"

A Father's Cry - Poem

Oh my beautiful child, how I love to be with you
Walk by the day in the morning dew

You seem so weary, so weak from strife
If only you'd reach out to me, I would give you life


So burdened, so determined, so strong
I am so proud of you, how can I get you to see you're wrong

My fondness of you holds no bound
I weep over your thoughts of being drown


My child, my child please don't take one more step
For earthly life is rubbish, your call to heaven not yet

Cry out to me and let your tears flow
For I understand, it was I who created the undertow


Trust me, take hold, my grip is true
Reach for me, for I will rescue you


There is no worry or sorrow in my embrace
There is no one lost without a trace


For I have known you from before the earth
I cared for you before your birth


Your are my child, my desire, my deepest love
I will care for you down here from above


Oh my beautiful child, take my hand and walk with me a while
I will care for you in heavenly father style

Renewed Hope

My story is not unique and yet one of a kind. It is both nothing to talk about and everything everyone should hear. My story is simply about the revelation that I am just a man. Full of faults, failures, shame, greed, lust, contempt, worry and sorrow. A man that had thought that he understood God and what he was to me. A man so full of himself that he could not recognize the agonizing loneliness he had slipped into. You see, I was a 'self-made' man. I had all, did all, knew all and truly believed that you needed my relational wisdom to finally be all you could be. Sounds ridiculous doesn't it? But it is completely true. Still, as ludicrous as it sounds, I had to have that repeated to me in bits and pieces before I began to take notice of the darkness that had taken complete control of me. I wasn't evil. I wasn't demented. I was simply lost. My story is about believing a lie for absolute truth and the incalculable damage it can do to you and me.

All my life I had tried to get my father's attention. All my life I strove for his approval and satisfaction in me. All my life I have lived with this need to perform that had driven me to great success and dreadful failure. I've been divorced, separated from my children, bankrupt, had a business fail, had poor digestive health, investments fail, repossession, been homeless, addicted to porn, hungry and depressed. I have also owned houses, multiple vehicles, great performing investments, remarried, great friends, renewed family relationships, and new bright white devotion to Jesus. However, outside of moments with Jesus, I felt no different from good or bad (with some noted times of high anxiety). I could never understand how I could feel nothing. How could my heart be so hard. I had to come to a point of my life where my cycle of failure was sweeping through my life did I finally get fed up with it and cried out to God to show me what was going on. Why am I so stone cold?

Well, can I remind you to be careful with what you ask. In this case I am eternally grateful for our Heavenly Father's faithfulness. He took me on an amazing journey to self analysis and discovery. To this day I am still on the journey only with a whole new focus. I'll reserve that for another topic. What God first revealed to me was that I was too proud. "God apposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble." The day after I cried out to God this scripture was given to me by a friend who stopped by and said he was lead by God to share with me. I knew it was my answer and it made perfect sense. My pride had hardened my heart and made it impossible to anything to work. I had been this way for as long as I could remember. It made me question my salvation and realize that I was aware of Jesus as the salvation of the world, and that he, God and Holy Spirit exist. It also became very clear through a message from our pastor on the importance of repentance and reception. I had not repented of my rebellious proud ways. It was these very ways that hardened my heart to the point of not knowing what repentance really meant, how it felt, and most importantly...how to do it. My pastor went on to explain the importance of the next step with the reception, which is simply calling my salvation mine as a gift and nothing else. Laying hold of this gift and accepting the change Jesus will do in me. Once I hear this I understood I was not saved. Went to church, did church functions, prayed for people, worshiped God, but was not saved. So on December 11th, 2007, I received my salvation as my own. All this happened in a very dark time as my financial world was being destroyed. And yet, I finally felt free. But there was still more work to do.

I had gone through a class called Valiant Man. This is something that every man, woman, father, son, husband and wife should go through to help with understanding the sexuality of men. Its approach is both scientific, biochemical and most importantly spiritual. It was through this class that it was first revealed to me about hidden lies that we believe as absolute truth. It has forever changed my life and sent me on a life long mission to help men and women live free from these debilitating ideas. What was revealed to me was that I believed that I was truly unworthy. Unworthy of anything good. Second rate. Trash. It has many descriptions. I was blown away. It made so much sense. All of my self destructive, self medicative behaviours, addictive habits suddenly made sense. I finally was able to see my symptoms apart from the sickness. They had always looked the same to me. Making me feel like I had many things wrong with me and each one had to me dealt with individually. Now I had only one thing to tackle and overcome. Treat the sickness and the symptoms WILL go away. I felt like someone had lifted a car off of my shoulders. I was living my life controlled by a lie. I felt relief and felt stupid all at the same time. (Feeling stupid is quite normal). I recognized this as the work of my enemy and set out to conquer it. I began to spend quality time in the Word every day. God began to feed me with Truth and love. He began to show me the son he saw me as. He began to heal my pain and take it from me. But there was still more work to do.

Recently my wife and I attended a conference, Jesus-ministry. Absolutely AMAZING!!! It was here that God began to peel off the final layers of my lie. You see, it had occurred to me that my unworthiness may be a symptom itself. That it had its own cause and origin. Boy, was I right about that. It was at the end of the conference what one of the pastors was speaking to a group that was about to be prayed for. He shared a story about his childhood and his hateful relationship with him mother and father. And how he didn't get a chance to rekindle that relationship after he had come to Christ, because his mother had passed away. (I was already crying by now. It was a very touching story). He went on to explain a process he went through in forgiving his mother and father for his difficulty childhood. He explain how he talked through the his own discovery of a lie that he had believed in that kept his anger toward his parents so intense. He described a memory of how he in and around his extended family at a large gathering. Where grandparents, brothers, sisters, cousins and the whole gang site around a spit barbs at each other bringing up memories most people would like not to remember. You might have had a family experience like this as well. It was here that he remembered when stories were told, one was told of how his parents got pregnant with him. That he was unplanned, a mistake, a hindrance to their future plans, he had screwed up their young lives. Well, that was not how it was actually talked about, but the pastor explained how it was how HE heard it. From a very early age, he had heard the story repeated over and over again on how he was a mistake.

It hit me harder than anything in my life.

That was it.

My story that I listened to was that source of my unworthiness. I was sick to my stomach, crying uncontrollably and in total disbelief over my own revelation. You see, my parents got pregnant with me before they were married as well. My dad was getting ready to go to spring training with the Kansas City Royals to play baseball. My mother had and opportunity to go to college or work for the telephone company. Then I came along. I changed all of their plans. They changed all of their plans to take care of me. I heard that story so many times I could remember the smell of my family gathering every time I think about it. Amazing, I still do to this day. You see, I took responsibility for them missing out and have spent my entire life trying to make up for it. Every time that I didn't get acknowledgement for my efforts I would self-destruct and fail. This pattern never changed until a year ago. (Yes I do see that is unhealthy thinking). Now, I see it for what it was. It was not my fault. It was my parents choice. I even shared this revelation with both of my parents and with amazing loving grace they shared their hearts with me over what really took place in their minds and hearts. I am finally free of this prison. I am finally free to live my life for me. I finally do not have to earn my Heavenly Father's affection. He has shown me he has always loved me completely. The kind of love I've been looking for all of my life.

He has saved me.
He has restored me.
He has renewed me. And if you let him.

He will do the same for you.

My First Christmas - Poem

From days of old to days of new
I've always thought I knew whats true
Toys of joy of a christmas wish
Meals with family a delicous dish

Lights and garland strung abound
Tastes of eggnog with nutmeg ground
Fire crackling with a hint of smoke
Blazes hotter by the cast iron stoke

Snow falls slowly outside like down
Trees and store are lit all over town
Songs of joy and memories of past
Bring me back to its true meaning fast

For God himself and from his heart
Looked down below and chose to empart
A plan so precious, glorious and true
He became a man, a baby so new

It was a gift to the world and to all
A miracle of grace which saves from the fall
I missed its meaning, his purpose, his truth
Until my life brought his presence and proof

I'm comletely humbled by this amazing gift
As god recognized I was completely adrift

He saved me

He save my soul

For all my pain, my worry, my struggl was made to achieve his only goal
To save me forever, save my eternal soul

I can no longer comprehend his greatness for me
However....I will forever appreciate being free